Headquarters and Badasses
by cassie.hack
Summary: Maya dares disturbing a (considerably) peaceful game of "Bunkers and Badasses"


_A/N: In celebration of the announced GOTY version for Borderlands 2 (and because This Guy/reconghost5 asked for it) here's a short one-shot that might help you forget there's no new chapter for the other Borderlands story... ;) __I'm actually thinking about including all the "after story" DLCs in one-shots - once I get around to actually play them, of course (damn you, GTA!)._

_Thanks to rargle-fargle for pointing out these "inspiring" parts of the Tiny Tina DLC. :)_

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**Headquarters and Badasses**

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"...mocked me for two things: my tattoos and 'Bunkers and Badasses'. I suffered for my geekiness. You don't get to invade my culture just because it's 'cool' right now."

"Who mocked you, babe?"

Everyone gathered around the table turns to me as I lean on Lilith's chair, unable to resist ruffling her hair just a little bit... (One thing most people don't know about Lilith, no matter how disheveled her hair looks, every single strand is exactly where it's supposed to be and she just _hates_ it getting messed up – good thing she's aware of my many values...)

"Nobody did," my now deliciously uncomfortable siren mumbles while she swats at my hand, trying to evade it in her chair. "Aren't you busy with that Hyperion guy downstairs?"

I finally give in and lean my full weight on the back of her chair, stretching my body just the way I know Mordecai will thank me for with a beer or two later at _Moxxi's_ and shrug. "Sounded like you guys were having fun up here, so I thought I'd come and see what caused Tina's outburst a couple minutes ago..."

To my right, the tiny blonde shudders at the memory of the event that, as I'm guessing from what we could hear over the pain-filled screams from the Hyperion guy downstairs, had something to do with salad... which, as I now look around me, is scattered all over the floor...

Hm... curious...

Eh, never mind, I probably don't even wanna know...

"So, watcha doing?" I nod towards the various things covering the large table between them and reach for one of the dices to inspect the symbols on it.

_We were never allowed to play games at the Monastery... those bastards!_

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCHING IT!" Tina's on her feet in a split-second and wrestles the dice out of my hand while making sure to ram her elbow into my side a couple of times. "You're getting blood all over our board, you incompetent!"

"She dripped that guy's blood all over my pretty siren!" Brick now chimes into Tina's rant and reaches for a small figure on the board, cradling it in his big hands and trying to rid it of the blood splatters that make me realize it _might _have been a good idea to wash my hands first after working the Hyperion guy's face with my fists for the past ten minutes... _Ah shit, did it get on my shirt too? Ugh, that was brand ne- Wait a minute! What siren?_

And then I see it, the figures on the board are small versions of Zero, Axton, Krieg, Sal and Gaige, and just now I can see a hint of blue shimmer through Brick's fingers...

_They wouldn't..._

My eyes narrow and I, not so gently, slap the back of Lilith's head. "I can't believe it! You're playing this game as us without telling us about it? And more importantly," I step out from behind the chair, making sure Lilith sees my reproachful look, "you let Brick get his grubby hands all over me?"

"I... never actually thought about that..." Lilith is still rubbing the back of her head but then a sudden thought seems to hit her and her head snaps to her companion, "Brick, you better not touch my girlfriend's body in any inappropriate places, you hear?"

_That's my girl..._

The brute just shrugs his shoulders while he places mini me back on the board. "I don't care, I'm just in for the win."

"I would..."

"Shut up, Mordi, you had your shot!" Lilith's head snaps to the other side and I think I can actually see a slight gleam on her tattoos now. Better leave before this gets out of hand...

"Well, it seems you guys have your hands full as it is and I guess Sal might need a little help pulling the Hyperion guy's fingernails since I doubt he knows where Tannis stashed her tools, so... have fun?"

With that, I spin around and dash out of the room. Torturing that poor guy downstairs suddenly sounds like a much better idea...

_"HOLY SKAGSUCK! REPRESSED ANGER MUCH?"_

"Oh just shut up, Torgue!"


End file.
